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1. Small Acts: Listening

Hi everyone,

Hope you’re all feeling blessed today!

It is said our happiness increases when we engage in small acts of kindness.

So this week’s small act will be listening.

The challenge is to have one conversation where we do not talk about ourselves, but focus on the other person and truly listen to what they have to say.

Let me know how you get on and, more importantly, how it made you feel.

Until next time….bye!

3 Steps To Care Less About Public Opinion

It’s rare to find someone who does not worry or is not impacted by what people think of them. This is especially true now that social media is part of our lives. Although we shouldn’t be completely shameless, worrying so much about public opinion can prevent us from taking positive steps in our lives.

If you say it out loud, it’s quite easy to see how ridiculous it is to put to much energy into trying to please people who, at the end of the day, could not care less about us. However, because this is something we were conditioned to care about since we were children, it will be a difficult habit to drop. So, if this is a fear you would like to leave behind, it’s best that you take your time and be patient with yourself. The three point I will be laying out below has really helped me worry less about what people think of me.

1. People don’t think about you as much as you think they do

Most of the time, we exaggerate how much people are judging us. We adopt a negative mindset and just assume because we got a certain look, it means the person doesn’t like us or even worse, we have done something wrong. With this kind of mindset, we are at the mercy of what we don’t know and can’t control, people’s thoughts. We need to understand that people are not thinking of us that much, if at all. And if they are, we will never know that because we can’t read minds. So why worry about something you will never know.

2. The only opinions that should matter are yours and from those who you respect

People who do not care about you should not be living rent-free in your head. Their opinions should not mean anything because they don’t have a role to play in your life and they don’t benefit you in anyway. Only those who you respect and care about you should count. Because at the end of the day, only they are looking out for your best interest and want you to succeed.

3. Use your block/mute option liberally

Deciding who and what to let in our lives is important because it can either lead us down a path to success or failure. So, in real life and on social media, we should actively avoid those who bring negativity and only seek to put us down. As hard as this can be, removing toxic people from your life will make space for those who bring positivity and will help you on your journey.

As I have said, it will take time to drop this habit. However, through practice and giving yourself time, you will find yourself caring less and less each day.

Tackling Procrastination

If there is one thing I can point to that blocks me from moving forward with my development, it is procrastination. There are two connected reasons for why I procrastinate so much. The first one is my need to be perfect and the second is feeling overwhelmed by the amount of work I have yet to complete. This has become a huge problem for me, so I decided to sit down and think about how I can realistically overcome this and move forward with my plans. Taking into account the two reasons for why I procrastinate, I have decided to adopt the below steps.

1. There is no need for perfection

Striving for perfection has been toxic for me. It has prevented me from trying for fear that I would not get it absolutely right the first or second time. Dropping this mentality helps immensely with tackling procrastination because there is no longer a need to strive for what is impossible.

2. Break your tasks into manageable chunks

Trying to tackle your tasks all at once can make you feel really overwhelmed. Breaking your tasks into manageable chunks helps you feel less overwhelmed because it no longer feels like you are running a marathon.  

It’s quite common when you make a conscience decision to strive for development and self-improvement to come across bad habits that never seemed to be an issue beforehand. Procrastination is one of those bad habits for me. I hope that by adopting the above 2 steps, it will be easier for me to tackle it.

Our Ego and Its Hatred of Failure

More times than not, our ego forces us to hold on to what’s unhealthy or it leads down a path of self-destruction. It convinces us that if we change course or drop a bad habit, we have essentially “lost”. But despite its hold over us, it’s often difficult to sense its presence and so we are almost defenceless against it.

In order to lessen the hold our ego has over us, we must recognise that:

1. Failure is Important

Not only is failing or “losing” part of life, it’s also hugely important. How will we ever become better people or do better at our jobs without first making mistakes? Failing shows us clearly what works and what doesn’t, and if we are willing to listen, we will benefit greatly.

2. Failure is never as bad as we think it is

Our ego tends to exaggerate how badly we have failed. To the point where we believe that we can’t recover. Like with number 1, this prevents us from learning important lessons that would often take us on the path towards success.

While we are on this journey of self-improvement, its important to acknowledge the role our ego plays. It will often stand in our way and reduce our willingness to change. So it’s important that we start tackling it early on. Otherwise, we will constantly be taking two steps forward and three steps back.

5 Steps To Declutter Your Mind

I have always struggled dealing with how fast-paced life can be. This often leads to me stressing about 100 different things and not being able to fully focus on anyone of them. This isn’t a good thing to do, as a cluttered mind leads to a cluttered life. There is only a certain amount of energy that is available to us every day and if, for the most part, that energy goes to absolute nonsense, there is very little left to actually spend on our priorities and useful activities.  

Now that we have entered a new year, I would like to really start decluttering my mind. After doing some research, I’ve come up with 5 useful steps that would (hopefully) lead to this. Although I have done some of these before, I never really took it seriously; so, the results of implementing these steps in the next 30 days will be interesting.  

  1. Write everything down 

Whether it’s an actual Journal or Notes on our phone, it’s important to write everything down. This will transfer our thoughts to paper and free up some space in our mind. And seeing our thoughts on paper will allow us to have more clarity and control over them.  

  1. Declutter your phone 

It’s well known that decluttering our space is important but that also holds true for our phone. Limiting our notifications, spring cleaning our contact list and deleting useless apps will help ease our mind and let go of what’s unnecessary. 

  1. Remember your priorities 

Make a list of your priorities and read them. This helps us put aside those things that are trivial so that we can focus on what’s truly important in our lives.

  1. Letting go of what you can’t control 

In order for this to work, you have to actually know what it is that you can’t control. I believe that is usually everything but ourselves. If we accept that we can only control our actions, it becomes easier to focus on ourselves and gain a peace of mind. 

  1. Stop Multitasking  

This will definitely be difficult for me since I am constantly thinking and doing 2 different things at once. By focusing on one activity or task, it will help us feel less stressful and exhausted. It will be easier to be productive and actually finish what we have started. 

It’s important, that in a time where we have so little control of what is happening, we don’t lose ourselves. Focusing on keeping our mind healthy and at peace is an effective way of accomplishing that. 

 In 30 days, I’ll give an update on my progress!

Do you chase unrealistic beauty standards?

Don’t judge me, but I had recently watched the latest episode of BKChat, where they were discussing whether women who do BBL (Brazilian Butt Lift) surgery are insecure and it got me thinking. I completely understand why girls get it because I also have insecurities when it comes to my looks. It is almost impossible to not be impacted by our society’s obsession with superficial beauty. However, watching the episode made me realise how bad it actually is. It is coming to the point where it is hard for us to accept the physical flaws we have. Now that surgery is becoming an increasingly affordable option, we no longer have to look within ourselves and overcomes those insecurities.

Before we go any further, we should first acknowledge that there are people who are blessed by Allah with good looks. However, that says nothing about the person’s actual worth. Our obsession with superficiality has gotten to the point that we have forgotten what true beauty actually is. As human beings, we were never meant to be physically perfect. And like the rest of us, those who are blessed with good looks will see those looks fade away as they get older. So, we have to ask ourselves this question; why are we putting so much effort and time into something that will fade away with age? I think it could be because we are in age where images dominate. Our physical features are the first thing people see on the internet and since it’s hard to truly get to know them, we naturally base our judgement on how good looking people are.

I’m not saying those who want to get surgery to correct a flaw they see on their body shouldn’t do it. Ultimately, we are in charge and responsible for our decisions and ourselves. I just think that, as human beings, we should learn to accept that we have and will always have physical flaws. And, they are not as awful as we think they are. The only beauty that should be sought after is the one that results from someone’s character, integrity and humility. Having these qualities will make whatever flaws you have completely irrelevant.