Outside Approval and Its Pitfalls

Hi guys,

I hope you’re all well and keeping safe!

For the past two weeks, I’ve been thinking about striving for material success and how it can affect your internal stability. As we all know, relying on outside success and approval to be happy is a recipe for disaster. However, I also know very well that it is hard to break out of that habit; especially if you are an ambitious person.

It takes no more than a few clicks on our phone to be bombarded with strangers who have had amazing success with, what it seems, minimal effort. Although we know that is generally not the case and usually the maintenance of that success is a much harder road to go down than the road to success was, it is difficult for us not to compare ourselves with them.

What has really helped me deal with this particular demon was to acknowledge the good things that was already in my life. Whenever the outside world seems completely uncontrollable, its best to look inside for peace and happiness. When you see yourself seeking approval of others to feel better, it’s time to look within. When achieving success is not about your goals but about your ego, it’s time to have a word yourself.

Looking to the outside world in order to build your confidence and feel better about yourself will only make things worse because that approval is only transitory and so you will be forced to continually seek it. However, genuinely liking yourself and giving your own approval will last for as long as you want it to.

I hope this was useful for you guys!

Until next time…bye!

4. Small Acts: Forgiving Ourselves

Hi guys,

I hope you’re all feeling blessed today!

It is said that engaging in small acts of kindness increases our happiness.

This week’s small act will be to forgive and allow ourselves to move on from our mistakes.

While on the path of self-improvement, we will make countless mistakes. So, it’s good to get into the habit of not dwelling on them; and instead learn from them those mistakes and move on.

Until next time…bye!

3. Small Acts: Show appreciation

Hi guys,

Hope you’re all wonderful today!

It is said that our happiness increases when we engage in small acts of kindness.

This week’s small act will be showing appreciation for what someone has done for us.

Whether it was something small or big, showing appreciation let’s others know you recognise their efforts and so it wasn’t wasted.

Until next time…bye!

UPDATE: 5 Steps To Declutter Your Mind

Hi guys!

Hope you’re all well!

I wanted to give a mini update on how the process of decluttering my mind is going. It was really important for me to start this because I have a lot of things going on and I don’t want to lose my mind trying to juggle all of it.

Implementing the 5 steps has really helped to reduce my stress and anxiety level. By working on my priorities and only focusing on one thing at a time, I am now able to get a lot more done. Also, by deliberatly turning my attention away from distractions, my mind is more at peace.

Now this is only the beginning and, I plan to continue practicing the 5 steps and get better at it.

I know the weather in London doesn’t look to be great but I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

Until next time…bye!

2. Small Acts: Compliments

Hi everyone,

Hope you’re all doing great today!

It is said our happiness increases when we engage in small acts of kindness.

So this week’s small act will be to give one person a genuine compliment.

whether it’s to a stranger or a loved one, make sure it’s true and from the heart.

Until next time…bye!

3 Steps To Care Less About Public Opinion

It’s rare to find someone who does not worry or is not impacted by what people think of them. This is especially true now that social media is part of our lives. Although we shouldn’t be completely shameless, worrying so much about public opinion can prevent us from taking positive steps in our lives.

If you say it out loud, it’s quite easy to see how ridiculous it is to put to much energy into trying to please people who, at the end of the day, could not care less about us. However, because this is something we were conditioned to care about since we were children, it will be a difficult habit to drop. So, if this is a fear you would like to leave behind, it’s best that you take your time and be patient with yourself. The three point I will be laying out below has really helped me worry less about what people think of me.

1. People don’t think about you as much as you think they do

Most of the time, we exaggerate how much people are judging us. We adopt a negative mindset and just assume because we got a certain look, it means the person doesn’t like us or even worse, we have done something wrong. With this kind of mindset, we are at the mercy of what we don’t know and can’t control, people’s thoughts. We need to understand that people are not thinking of us that much, if at all. And if they are, we will never know that because we can’t read minds. So why worry about something you will never know.

2. The only opinions that should matter are yours and from those who you respect

People who do not care about you should not be living rent-free in your head. Their opinions should not mean anything because they don’t have a role to play in your life and they don’t benefit you in anyway. Only those who you respect and care about you should count. Because at the end of the day, only they are looking out for your best interest and want you to succeed.

3. Use your block/mute option liberally

Deciding who and what to let in our lives is important because it can either lead us down a path to success or failure. So, in real life and on social media, we should actively avoid those who bring negativity and only seek to put us down. As hard as this can be, removing toxic people from your life will make space for those who bring positivity and will help you on your journey.

As I have said, it will take time to drop this habit. However, through practice and giving yourself time, you will find yourself caring less and less each day.

Tackling Procrastination

If there is one thing I can point to that blocks me from moving forward with my development, it is procrastination. There are two connected reasons for why I procrastinate so much. The first one is my need to be perfect and the second is feeling overwhelmed by the amount of work I have yet to complete. This has become a huge problem for me, so I decided to sit down and think about how I can realistically overcome this and move forward with my plans. Taking into account the two reasons for why I procrastinate, I have decided to adopt the below steps.

1. There is no need for perfection

Striving for perfection has been toxic for me. It has prevented me from trying for fear that I would not get it absolutely right the first or second time. Dropping this mentality helps immensely with tackling procrastination because there is no longer a need to strive for what is impossible.

2. Break your tasks into manageable chunks

Trying to tackle your tasks all at once can make you feel really overwhelmed. Breaking your tasks into manageable chunks helps you feel less overwhelmed because it no longer feels like you are running a marathon.  

It’s quite common when you make a conscience decision to strive for development and self-improvement to come across bad habits that never seemed to be an issue beforehand. Procrastination is one of those bad habits for me. I hope that by adopting the above 2 steps, it will be easier for me to tackle it.

Our Ego and Its Hatred of Failure

More times than not, our ego forces us to hold on to what’s unhealthy or it leads down a path of self-destruction. It convinces us that if we change course or drop a bad habit, we have essentially “lost”. But despite its hold over us, it’s often difficult to sense its presence and so we are almost defenceless against it.

In order to lessen the hold our ego has over us, we must recognise that:

1. Failure is Important

Not only is failing or “losing” part of life, it’s also hugely important. How will we ever become better people or do better at our jobs without first making mistakes? Failing shows us clearly what works and what doesn’t, and if we are willing to listen, we will benefit greatly.

2. Failure is never as bad as we think it is

Our ego tends to exaggerate how badly we have failed. To the point where we believe that we can’t recover. Like with number 1, this prevents us from learning important lessons that would often take us on the path towards success.

While we are on this journey of self-improvement, its important to acknowledge the role our ego plays. It will often stand in our way and reduce our willingness to change. So it’s important that we start tackling it early on. Otherwise, we will constantly be taking two steps forward and three steps back.

5 Steps To Declutter Your Mind

I have always struggled dealing with how fast-paced life can be. This often leads to me stressing about 100 different things and not being able to fully focus on anyone of them. This isn’t a good thing to do, as a cluttered mind leads to a cluttered life. There is only a certain amount of energy that is available to us every day and if, for the most part, that energy goes to absolute nonsense, there is very little left to actually spend on our priorities and useful activities.  

Now that we have entered a new year, I would like to really start decluttering my mind. After doing some research, I’ve come up with 5 useful steps that would (hopefully) lead to this. Although I have done some of these before, I never really took it seriously; so, the results of implementing these steps in the next 30 days will be interesting.  

  1. Write everything down 

Whether it’s an actual Journal or Notes on our phone, it’s important to write everything down. This will transfer our thoughts to paper and free up some space in our mind. And seeing our thoughts on paper will allow us to have more clarity and control over them.  

  1. Declutter your phone 

It’s well known that decluttering our space is important but that also holds true for our phone. Limiting our notifications, spring cleaning our contact list and deleting useless apps will help ease our mind and let go of what’s unnecessary. 

  1. Remember your priorities 

Make a list of your priorities and read them. This helps us put aside those things that are trivial so that we can focus on what’s truly important in our lives.

  1. Letting go of what you can’t control 

In order for this to work, you have to actually know what it is that you can’t control. I believe that is usually everything but ourselves. If we accept that we can only control our actions, it becomes easier to focus on ourselves and gain a peace of mind. 

  1. Stop Multitasking  

This will definitely be difficult for me since I am constantly thinking and doing 2 different things at once. By focusing on one activity or task, it will help us feel less stressful and exhausted. It will be easier to be productive and actually finish what we have started. 

It’s important, that in a time where we have so little control of what is happening, we don’t lose ourselves. Focusing on keeping our mind healthy and at peace is an effective way of accomplishing that. 

 In 30 days, I’ll give an update on my progress!